#139: September BONUS Edition

Welcoming you back with a BONUS EDITION, since it’s the fifth Tuesday of the month. I’m immediately passing it off to Prof Mike since I’ve got a lot going on right now, but first a quick announcement:

I got married this weekend!

Shout-out to my wife (love the sound of that!) and everyone who made the big day as special as it could be.

I’ll have more to share next week, but for now, thanks to everyone for the well wishes and the continued support, and I’ll see you in October!

Congratulations to the happy couple! Wishing you both a lifetime of health, happiness, and good fortune.

As for you, loyal OTF supporters, we’re gonna keep this one short and sweet. I, like you, digest a ton of interesting content, and what follows are three of my favorites from this past week.

Hope you enjoy.

💍 “I Do” Love Me Some Highlights 💍

• Making Cents of How the Economy Works 📈 💰️🚀
  

• Cool Communicator: Watch Out for Manipulative Tactics 📈 💰️
  

• Food For Thought Re: Interconnectedness 📈 💰️🚀

MAKING CENTS💰️ 

Do You Really Know How the Economy Works?

Some of us conflate the economy with just the stock market; others might look at certain indicators like unemployment or national debt…but if you really want to understand how this machinery works, look no further than this 10-minute clip from investing guru Ray Dalio (courtesy of Market Sentiment via Substack):

(If you want the full half-hour masterclass, click here.)

COOL COMMUNICATOR 💯 

Don’t Let Them Manipulate You

The Huffington Post put out an article titled “6 Red Flag Phrases Narcissists Use to Manipulate You During an Argument,” and since this is my wheelhouse, I figured I’d add my own analysis to their list.

(Note: this is not my wheelhouse because I’m a narcissist or a manipulator 🤣; it’s because as a teacher of persuasive speech, I think it’s crucial to expose students to unethical persuasive tactics so they know how to recognize and counter them.)

Let’s take a look at the list:

1. “You’re overreacting” 

Classic gaslighting, designed to make you doubt yourself. Once you give in to that doubt, you become easier to persuade because you lack the conviction and confidence to fight back.

Solution: Keep your emotions in check. Don’t question yourself, and don’t get defensive. Because even if the doubt play doesn’t work, any emotional response - like an angry “I am not overreacting!” - is a win for the opposition.

2. “I’m not angry - you’re angry.”

This is how a bad communicator tries to turn the tables when they’ve lost their cool first, and it’s the same premise as #1: they’re trying to get you to second-guess yourself and your own emotions instead of paying attention to theirs.

Solution: Stay focused. Their anger was the result of realizing that they can’t win with logic. The basic premise is, “Even if I’m wrong, I’ll just get louder and more forceful, and they’ll bend to my will.”

And if that doesn’t work, well Plan C is to trick you into thinking the tension is your fault in the first place. Don’t take the bait.

3. “I can’t believe you’re attacking me. I always get blamed.”

In the first two examples, the manipulator was trying to use doubt; here, they’re using guilt.

Solution: Same as above. They know they can’t win with calm rationality, so they’re trying to elicit negative emotion. Keep your cool.

4. “If you loved me, you would do this.”

Another guilt trip. No new notes.

Solution? This particular version can only be utilized by “loved ones” whom you should be able to speak to openly and honestly. So what if you just countered with “I love you and am willing to do it…if you could just give me one (rational / practical) reason why.”

Might the loving opening be enough to diffuse the tension, or would the implication that they haven’t been logical up to that point escalate things further?

Either way, a calm reaffirmation of love followed by an attempt to shift the conversation back to logic seems worth trying.

5. “You should have known I was upset.”

Yet another guilt trip, and perhaps the most unreasonable of all of them. You should know exactly how they feel without it ever having been communicated?

Solution: See #3 and #4 above.

6. Word Salad

Wow! Something that isn’t gaslighting or guilt-tripping!

If your opponent starts to ramble, either saying things that are relevant or nonsensical, stringing together various points with no obvious connections, etc. they are either A) getting emotional and erratic or B) trying to confuse you.

Solution (for Option B): Don’t argue any of the new, irrelevant, unnecessary Word Salad points. It’s a distraction tactic, and once you take the bait, they’ve weaseled their way out of the original argument. Remember what your purpose was when the conversation started, and keep that top of mind.

Appealing to someone’s emotional side isn’t always manipulative. This approach is called Pathos; we’ve covered it in past editions, and I teach it every semester to my first-year college students along with Aristotle’s other appeals (Ethos and Logos). But I’d argue that pathos is the easiest and most common to use for manipulative purposes, because once someone gets emotional, it’s hard to get back to the rational side. And it’s our rational minds that are best at recognizing bullsh**, calling out lies or misinformation, and countering unethical persuasion tactics in effective ways.

That’s why no matter what - whether you’re in a face-to-face argument, listening to a charismatic salesperson, or watching the news - it’s important to try to keep your emotions in check. And if you do find yourself being moved emotionally, think about WHY your persuader may have wanted that outcome and what they stand to gain from it.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT 🤔 

Courtesy of Tracy Chrest via Substack:

Before You Go!

Thanks again for joining us! Next week, we’ll be back with October’s Growth Edition, featuring Say It Better, Search Bar, and much more!

As always, see you next Tuesday 🤝 

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