#140 Presence is a Present

Welcoming you back to OTF with an absolute fire edition!!

First, I want to thank Prof Mike for taking on more OTF responsibility while I was off getting married. Cheers to a job well done!

Second, I said last week that I’d have more to share in the next edition, and here we are. What a day and night it was! I won’t bore you with too many details, but I did have a thought that I feel is worth your time.

My main goal leading up to the wedding was to be as present as possible, and I feel like I accomplished it. This was my approach:

1. I stopped posting on social media for about a month leading up to the big day. I don’t think focusing on making a TikTok video instead of important details of our wedding would’ve been a great start to our marriage 🤣
   
   In all seriousness, being present doesn’t just mean for the good stuff. It means for the planning, for every little detail, and since nothing is more distracting than social media, I felt this (much-needed) monthlong detox was a good place to start.
   

2. Instead of thinking about this most-important moment of my life, I focused on my wife and how it was the most important moment of her life. Being extra attentive to how she was feeling / doing helped me stay grounded and more aware.

Maybe being present requires a different approach for everyone, but eliminating distractions and thinking less about myself was the perfect recipe for me. And I’m beyond glad I put in the effort, because now I’ve got the most incredible memories that will last a lifetime.

I guess the point is, don’t just think about the destination. Be present for the journey, every bit of it. Makes everything that much sweeter.

Highlights So 🔥 You’ll Want to Marry Them

• The Search Bar: AI, Stocks, and Mindfulness 📈 💰️🚀

  
  

• Say It Better: Pros and Cons of Transparency 📈 💰️🚀

  
  

• Content for Your Commute:  Better Negotiation, Better Communication, More Happiness 📈 💰️🚀
  

• October’s 2-DO LIST:📈 🚀

THE SEARCH BAR 🔎

What’s Trending Heading into October 2025

• Exploding Topics - Not surprisingly, the hottest topics lately involve AI. What stood out to us this week was this analysis of how AI is transforming marketing.

• Top Gaining Stocks (Live Updates) - It was quite a day for AMD on the heels of their OpenAI deal, but they’re not the only stocks that made major moves. Look at all that green!

• Top Trending MINDFULNESS Apps - In the spirit of being present, here’s what comes up when you search “mindfulness” in the app store.

SAY ASK IT BETTER 💯 

Transparency — Yay or Nay?

Anyone who’s married knows that money adds up quick during the wedding planning process. So saving any dollar amount can be helpful in the long run. Looking back on everything, I wonder if I went about saving money in the right way.

Most often during the process, I just came right out and asked what was on my mind:

• Is there anything we can do about this price?

• What other options do we have to cut costs?

• Are there even cheaper alternatives?

• Do we really need this?

But I also felt early on, with my wife and I paying for most of the wedding, that I needed our wedding planner to truly understand our situation. So when we first started out, I sent an email detailing our situation, which I hoped would lead to the sort of transparency and trust that could work for everyone.

Was this the right move? Is there a downside to transparency like that?

What say you, Prof Mike?

A few things, Dan:

1. One last hearty congratulations to you and the missus. Hope you had a blast, and wishing you nothing but the best moving forward.
   

2. It’s kinda hard to evaluate a writing tactic or decision without actually seeing the product. Which is fine - I understand why you don’t wanna post your personal emails for the world to see, so I’m gonna speak generally moving forward.
   

3. I think transparency can go either way, depending on how it’s executed.
   
   UPSIDE: If you’re clearly laying out your financial situation, with specificity and openness, this should limit future misunderstandings, saving you time, energy, and in this particular case, hopefully money. Especially when it’s someone who’s working for you (whether an employee, a wedding planner, or anything in between), you always want to shoot for clear and specific communication.
   
   DOWNSIDE: Good persuaders are always looking for “advantages” that they can use “against” their target audience. So by laying all your cards on the table, it’s *possible* you give them info that they can later use to their benefit. For example: if my budget for a wedding was 50K, I wouldn’t volunteer that right off the bat because now they have a target to shoot for instead of simply trying to find me the best deals.
   
   So I guess my verdict is, be clear and transparent about your must-haves — your wants, needs, preferences, top priorities — while withholding any details that you think could be used against you.

CONTENT FOR YOUR COMMUTE 🚶🚆 ✈️ 

• ON FOOT: Do you find yourself striving for more presence and mindfulness? Then check out “10% Happier with Dan Harris,” which covers a wide variety of topics that all come back to happiness and improved mental health.

• TRAIN TIME: Next time you’re looking for train content, check out this article from February about mistakes buyers make while negotiating - at least one of them illustrates Prof Mike’s downside of transparency. (Kinda wish I read this back when it was first published 🤣)

• FIRST CLASS: Here’s a great list of books designed to make you a better communicator overall. I’ve got 2 of them in my Amazon cart as we speak!

2-DO LIST💡 

October 2025

1. Be Present! Look, I’m on my phone as much as anyone, but post-wedding, I’m on a presence bender. What can you do to be more present? Screen limits, social media detox, meditation…take some time to think about what you can do to experience life more actively and attentively.
   

2. An Experience Worth Experiencing - Summer’s in the rearview, but that doesn’t mean fun, adventure, and making lasting memories need to go into hibernation. You deserve great experiences always, so even though fall brings some potential obstacles (changing weather, school / childcare-related challenges, etc.), make time to do something memorable.

Before You Go!

Thanks again for joining us! Next week, we’ll be back with October’s Productivity Issue, featuring Working With AI, Always Informed, and much more!

As always, see you next Tuesday 🤝 

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